Struggling with Uncertainty?
One of the most persistent struggles with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is the relentless chase for certainty. That all-important feeling that everything is definitively okay – whether it’s about your sexuality, fears of having contracted a disease, or worries about hurting someone. You’ve probably found yourself thinking, “If only I could just know for sure,” believing that a definitive answer would finally bring relief. Well, it might, but usually only until the next doubt creeps in…
OCD used to be called “the doubting disease” because uncertainty is such a core feature for so many who experience it. But here’s the crucial insight: trying to get more certain – to find that elusive reassurance – doesn’t solve the problem. The content of your worry isn’t really the problem; it’s just OCD’s clever trick to keep you engaged in a cycle.
Struggling with Uncertainty?
The Reality About Searching for Certainty
The big question is: how do you actually become more certain? And, more importantly, has all your effort over time truly made you more certain? In my experience, the answer is almost always: no. In fact, the more you try to seek certainty, the less certain you often become. You might notice you’re constantly trying to convince yourself you’ve checked everything thoroughly, but in truth, your doubts are just growing stronger.
Many people tell me, “I just wish there was a test for this – something definitive I could do to get an answer.” For example, someone fearing they’ve contracted HIV might get tested and receive a negative result. That’s an absolute answer, right?
Why a ‘Definitive’ Answer Doesn’t End the Doubt
While in theory, a negative test should settle the question, the reality is far more complicated with OCD. After receiving that answer, some might feel relief for a brief moment – perhaps five minutes, five hours, or a few days. But very quickly, the doubts often creep back in: What if the test was wrong? What if I contracted HIV after the test? What if the results weren’t accurate?
This cycle illustrates a fundamental truth: the real problem isn’t the question itself, but how your mind responds to the doubts. No matter how many “answers” you get, your mind will keep finding reasons to doubt, to question, and to seek reassurance. That’s why, in OCD, trying to resolve uncertainty is a maintaining factor rather than a helpful behaviour.
(For a deeper dive into this, watch my video: 22. OCD Treatment: How to get more certain! on YouTube.)
What Are You Doing to Seek Certainty?
To understand this pattern, it’s helpful to recognise some common behaviours people resort to in their quest for certainty:
- Checking Emotional Responses: Asking yourself if you feel the “appropriate” level of horror or disgust about a thought.
- Physical Sensations: Looking for bodily responses, like a feeling of guilt or relief, to confirm if something is true or false.
- Physical Checks: Repeatedly verifying if you shut the door, turned off the stove, or completed a task “correctly.”
- Replaying Events: Going over your actions in your mind to try and find certainty about what you did or didn’t do.
- Questioning and Comparing: Constantly questioning yourself or comparing your situation to others’ experiences.
- Seeking Reassurance: Asking friends, family, or online communities for affirmation.
- Researching Online: Looking at stories or information to find evidence that supports your fears or reassures you.
Do these strategies work long-term? If you’re honest with yourself, the answer is usually no. These reassuring behaviours might bring temporary relief, but they tend to reinforce the cycle of doubt and make certainty even harder to attain over time.
The Alternative: Living With Uncertainty
The crucial insight is recognising that these strategies are unhelpful in the long run. Instead of chasing certainty, the goal is to accept the discomfort that comes with not knowing. That’s admittedly easier said than done – I understand that it’s incredibly difficult to feel uncertain when your mind screams that your life is at stake.
A Simple Analogy
Imagine walking into your house and shutting the door behind you. Someone asks, “Did you shut the front door?” You’re confident you did – no problem. Now, imagine instead that someone points a gun at your head and asks the same question. Your certainty plunges, fear spikes, and doubts flood your mind.
The stakes feel much higher, right? That’s how OCD makes certainty feel – like life-or-death. But here’s the reality: it’s just an illusion. The “gun” is actually a water pistol. The anxiety and doubts are a trick of your mind trying to keep you searching and doubting. The high stakes are imagined; they are not what they seem.
Building Comfort With Uncertainty
If you want to get better at handling these doubts, you need more practice with uncertainty. This is where Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) — the gold standard for OCD treatment — comes in. The more you expose yourself to things that potentially create uncertainty without performing any unhelpful responses (checking, seeking reassurance etc.), the more you will learn that you can handle the feelings and that they will slowly come down on their own.
Ready to Embrace Uncertainty and Live More Freely?
If you’re tired of chasing certainty and ready to learn effective strategies to manage OCD, my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and ERP programmes are designed to help you break free from the cycle of doubt.
Learn more about Working with Katie and start your journey towards lasting relief.